Newsletter - February, 2005
Helping each other is the axis on which the world turns; both the satisfactory exchange of goods and services, (which can get muddled enough, God knows) and the freely offered aid to someone in need. In this time when terms like "self-sacrifice" are bandied about, the question arises, "To what extent am I supposed to sacrifice my time/money/self on the altar of someone's sin and selfishness?"
It's like that sign seen in some businesses: "your lack of planning is not
my emergency." I've discovered that given the chance, demons riding herd on
someone's else's life are quite happy to jump ship and create a whirlwind in
mine.
It sometimes feels unChristian, but I'm not interested in drowning in a
quagmire of need or getting trapped In the sticky morass of codependency. I want
to respect the dignity of every person and honor the mystery of individual
personalities; I even want to help. But what happens when I get the sense that my
help isn't...um...helping?
After sketching out the above paragraphs, I went to the store to sort through
a whole mountain of book donations. A paperback first edition of Thomas
Merton's NO MAN IS AN ISLAND rose from the heap. In the beginning 30 pages I found
a remarkable exploration of the issue I was struggling to get a handle on. A
summary quote:
"If I love my brothers according to the truth, my love for them will be true
not only to them, but to myself." --Thomas Merton
Aglow with gratitude for getting such timely help, I wondered how people who
don't own bookstores ever manage.
+
MARCHING ON:
I made it thru George Eliot's MIDDLEMARCH, encouraged by Ted (poet, fisherman
and surveyor). Ted has read more classical literature than anyone I know.
Along with his encouraging email was a rave review of the authenticity of
Debra's poetry (POMEGRANATE $12). A couple of days later Debra (poet, singer and
teacher) sent me the only other email I got encouraging me to keep going in
MIDDLEMARCH. Obviously these poet types stick together.
Debra also offered me the PBS Masterpiece Theater version, but I'd just been
talked into watching six (count 'em SIX) videos of Waugh's BRIDESHEAD
REVISITED. This created a lovely family week wherein I grumbled about how I could
have read the book four times in the length of time this was taking, and Michael
made droll comments like, "Why should you wonder what is going to happen next,
when nothing at all has happened YET?"
"I find television very educating. Every time somebody turns on the set, I
go into the other room and read a book.Ó --Groucho Marx
MIDDLEMARCH is worth the read. Slow start--I would have given up around page
150 without the encouragement. I got hooked in the middle 300s and read the
last couple of hundred pages in one of those bleary, up til 2:30 nights.
Among other things, it is a great commentary on submission in marriage, the
concept explored from a whole variety of angles. Another investigation of how to
love others as yourself. Yes, 800 pages is long, but the book is beautifully
balanced, and gives much food for thought.
Responding to my last bird-brained newsletter, Patrick suggested THE GIFT OF
THE RED BIRD by Paula D'Arcy, "a touching account of a return to life after
death of a child and spouse in an auto accident." I rolled my eyes heavenward.
I've always hated those, "my house burned down but I met the Lord" kind of
stories. Before I knew the Lord I'd think, "if that's what it takes, forget
it." After I met the Lord, I'd think, "if that what it takes, forget it,"...with
the added kicker of feeling bad about such disloyal thoughts.
However, I decided to get the book ($14.95) and run it by Lynn, my resident
grief expert. Before I got a chance to give it to her, the pages fell open,
something caught my eye, and I brought it home to read. Much of the first part
is about getting trapped on the ministry circuit. Doing, doing, doing. (As
volunteer Doug once asked, "Are we human beings or human doings?") The last
half of the book is a vision quest: three days fasting in the wilderness. A
good, inspirational read. There's nothing like reading about fasting while
munching on Oreos....
It's not to late to add in a Lenten discipline. EVENING PRAYERBOOK is one of
three beautiful books put out by Patmos.us; "turn life into liturgy." Every
two page spread has Sunday's Vespers in an easy to follow format. No flip and
search required. A decorative strip on each page matches the colors of the
liturgical seasons. At $24.95 this would make a marvelous gift book, as would
their other two: A CHILD'S MISSAL $17.95 and the ROSARY BOOK $24.95. These
books are truly sumptuous: check them out at www.patmos.us (note: It's .us not
.com....a detail that is currently causing the brothers undue problems). You
can order direct from them...or, of course, from us.
Our Lenten class with USING THE WORD is marvelous....primarily because there
are astonishing people in it. Brag, brag, brag. (You are astonishing too.)
Next we're plotting a Literary Extravaganza to celebrate our 10th anniversary
this fall. What we'll need is a largish hall. (If you can help, hit reply
and write words.)
"Of course, it's possible to love a human being -- if you don't know them too
well." -Charles Bukowski, writer (1920-1994)
Isn't Lent lovely.
Blessings,
Alliee +