Newsletter - February, 2005

Helping each other is the axis on which the world turns; both the satisfactory exchange of goods and services, (which can get muddled enough, God knows) and the freely offered aid to someone in need. In this time when terms like "self-sacrifice" are bandied about, the question arises, "To what extent am I supposed to sacrifice my time/money/self on the altar of someone's sin and selfishness?"

It's like that sign seen in some businesses: "your lack of planning is not my emergency." I've discovered that given the chance, demons riding herd on someone's else's life are quite happy to jump ship and create a whirlwind in mine.

It sometimes feels unChristian, but I'm not interested in drowning in a quagmire of need or getting trapped In the sticky morass of codependency. I want to respect the dignity of every person and honor the mystery of individual personalities; I even want to help. But what happens when I get the sense that my help isn't...um...helping?

After sketching out the above paragraphs, I went to the store to sort through a whole mountain of book donations. A paperback first edition of Thomas Merton's NO MAN IS AN ISLAND rose from the heap. In the beginning 30 pages I found a remarkable exploration of the issue I was struggling to get a handle on. A summary quote:

"If I love my brothers according to the truth, my love for them will be true not only to them, but to myself." --Thomas Merton

Aglow with gratitude for getting such timely help, I wondered how people who don't own bookstores ever manage.

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MARCHING ON: I made it thru George Eliot's MIDDLEMARCH, encouraged by Ted (poet, fisherman and surveyor). Ted has read more classical literature than anyone I know. Along with his encouraging email was a rave review of the authenticity of Debra's poetry (POMEGRANATE $12). A couple of days later Debra (poet, singer and teacher) sent me the only other email I got encouraging me to keep going in MIDDLEMARCH. Obviously these poet types stick together. Debra also offered me the PBS Masterpiece Theater version, but I'd just been talked into watching six (count 'em SIX) videos of Waugh's BRIDESHEAD REVISITED. This created a lovely family week wherein I grumbled about how I could have read the book four times in the length of time this was taking, and Michael made droll comments like, "Why should you wonder what is going to happen next, when nothing at all has happened YET?"

"I find television very educating. Every time somebody turns on the set, I go into the other room and read a book.Ó --Groucho Marx

MIDDLEMARCH is worth the read. Slow start--I would have given up around page 150 without the encouragement. I got hooked in the middle 300s and read the last couple of hundred pages in one of those bleary, up til 2:30 nights. Among other things, it is a great commentary on submission in marriage, the concept explored from a whole variety of angles. Another investigation of how to love others as yourself. Yes, 800 pages is long, but the book is beautifully balanced, and gives much food for thought.

Responding to my last bird-brained newsletter, Patrick suggested THE GIFT OF THE RED BIRD by Paula D'Arcy, "a touching account of a return to life after death of a child and spouse in an auto accident." I rolled my eyes heavenward. I've always hated those, "my house burned down but I met the Lord" kind of stories. Before I knew the Lord I'd think, "if that's what it takes, forget it." After I met the Lord, I'd think, "if that what it takes, forget it,"...with the added kicker of feeling bad about such disloyal thoughts.

However, I decided to get the book ($14.95) and run it by Lynn, my resident grief expert. Before I got a chance to give it to her, the pages fell open, something caught my eye, and I brought it home to read. Much of the first part is about getting trapped on the ministry circuit. Doing, doing, doing. (As volunteer Doug once asked, "Are we human beings or human doings?") The last half of the book is a vision quest: three days fasting in the wilderness. A good, inspirational read. There's nothing like reading about fasting while munching on Oreos....

It's not to late to add in a Lenten discipline. EVENING PRAYERBOOK is one of three beautiful books put out by Patmos.us; "turn life into liturgy." Every two page spread has Sunday's Vespers in an easy to follow format. No flip and search required. A decorative strip on each page matches the colors of the liturgical seasons. At $24.95 this would make a marvelous gift book, as would their other two: A CHILD'S MISSAL $17.95 and the ROSARY BOOK $24.95. These books are truly sumptuous: check them out at www.patmos.us (note: It's .us not .com....a detail that is currently causing the brothers undue problems). You can order direct from them...or, of course, from us.

Our Lenten class with USING THE WORD is marvelous....primarily because there are astonishing people in it. Brag, brag, brag. (You are astonishing too.) Next we're plotting a Literary Extravaganza to celebrate our 10th anniversary this fall. What we'll need is a largish hall. (If you can help, hit reply and write words.)

"Of course, it's possible to love a human being -- if you don't know them too well." -Charles Bukowski, writer (1920-1994)

Isn't Lent lovely.

Blessings, Alliee +